by David Docusen | July 23, 2009 | Uncategorized
Six months ago I found myself laying on a doctors table with cords attached to my chest. The doctors were testing my heart to see if I was on the verge of having a heart attack. It seems that the stress of raising our salary and constantly worrying about where it would come from had finally caught up with me.
I remember laying there thinking “this is no way to live.” In all actuality, I was dying. Not just in my spirit, but the doctors told me that the stress was quite literally constricting my lungs. I had a moment with God that day that was very raw, very real and very honest. I decided (through yelling, screaming and tears) that if God promised to take care of the birds of the air and that he loved me so much more than birds, (Matthew 6:25-27) that I was going to let go. I wasn’t going to worry anymore. I think my prayer probably sounded like a frustrated and bitter teenager, but it was real. I had decided at that point to let go. For the past six months I have lived in a state of genuine trust and belief that God would provide.
Here’s the funny thing about letting go: you can pick things back up.
After we decided to take another huge step of faith and plant Center City Church in the fall, I began to feel the same stress that God released me from that day on the doctor’s table. I felt my chest constricting. I kept taking deep breaths (something I do when I get stressed). I began to worry about my paycheck for this month and the months to come. I began to stress about another season of fundraising that is ahead of us to launch Center City. I picked back up the same thing that I had placed in God’s hands six months ago.
I looked at Dara last night and asked her how she was doing. She looked back at me peacefully and said something I will never forget. “You know how Max (our five year old) always gets in trouble for doing the same silly things over and over again? You would think by now he would learn. Do you think that God wonders why you continue to stress over the same things that he has provided for over the last 15 months.”
Thank you, Dara. Something clicked last night and released today as I was driving around Charlotte praying and listening to worship music. I choose to let go today. I choose to trust God with my life, family and ministry. I choose to trust God. He has never once failed me and the same will be true of today and the days to come. My family, finances and ministry are much more secure in the hands of God.
I’m letting go.
by David Docusen | July 23, 2009 | Uncategorized
This is a crazy season of life, but I’m so encouraged to say that Dara and I are living out our dreams every day. We are finishing an amazing season at Hope Church (this week is our last Sunday) and beginning another season that we’ve dreamed about for over 5 years.
God put church planting in our hearts so deeply over lunch at a Chili’s in Altamonte Springs, FL in 2004. We are now taking steps to seeing that dream become a reality in the Fall of 2009. Let me just say this: it was worth the wait. I’m so grateful for every season that we have walked through during that time of waiting. The ups and downs, challenges and victories, mountaintops and valleys. All of these things have produced faith, resolve, experience, passion and so much more.
I’m so grateful for all of the experiences of life that have led to this point. I’m so grateful that Dara and I are living our dream.
by David Docusen | July 21, 2009 | Uncategorized
10 days away from our August paycheck. Over $2,000 short in our account. Another amazing scenario to bring God all the glory when he provides.
Sometimes this journey of raising our salary each month reminds me of walking on water. It’s totally crazy to think that we have gone unpaid for the past 15 months. It’s totally crazy for Peter to have stepped out of the boat and walked toward Jesus on the water (found in Matthew 14:22-36). I find such resonance in that story. When Peter fixed his eyes upon Christ, the miraculous happened – he walked on water. When he took his eyes off of Christ and focused on the wind and waves crashing around him, he sank into the water. My reminder? Keep my eyes fixed on Christ.
I have a wife and four kids. Food and diapers to buy (and the occasional Pez dispenser for the kids). One car payment. Rent. Bills, etc. We have committed to living as frugal as possible so that we can do all that God has called us to do. God has proven himself absolutely faithful.
We have learned to trust God in a way that only comes out of complete dependence. And we are better because of this journey. If you pray, please pray for us. Also, if you want to be a part of this story by becoming a shareholder in this dream, click here. God is faithful. Absolutely.
by David Docusen | July 21, 2009 | Uncategorized
I am so grateful that God hasn’t called me to do life and ministry alone. I am finding this even more evident as Dara and I are jumping in head first as we start Center City Church in Uptown Charlotte. There are so many things that need to happen that are not in my natural gift set. I am incredibly comfortable with people, speaking, sharing vision, connecting with partners in our community, etc. I am not so good at things like handling detail oriented things. I’m so grateful that there are people that we love and trust that are surrounding us that are good at those things.
We are all a part of one body. Each person does their function. We could not do this alone. I love that fact. Sharing life is way more fun than flying solo!
by David Docusen | July 21, 2009 | Uncategorized
We got a $500 check in the mail today from a missionary family.
You read that right. We have a friend that is itinerating right now (traveling the country raising money to head overseas). He told us that his family wanted to bless us as we have taken this step of faith to plant Center City Church in Uptown Charlotte.
I was totally blown away.
I think it’s so amazing that generosity can come in so many forms. We have had everything from a $3 donation from a family in poverty to a $500 check from a family headed to the mission field to $15,000 from one family that loves and believes in us. I am so motivated to work hard and do all I can to make sure that money (no matter the amount) is being invested in good soil.
I thank God for the generosity of so many people. We couldn’t do what we do otherwise.
