by Dave Leonard | June 15, 2019 | Uncategorized
“Tell me, David, who are five authors you’re reading right now that are really shaping your thinking?”
I don’t remember his name, but I remember his smug face and perfectly positioned, gel-infused hair that matched the hints of yellow in his plaid shirt. Let’s call him Ted.
“The bible,” I said through an uncomfortable chuckle. “I read the work of those authors almost every day.”
Ted looked back at me with an annoying mixture of disappointment and arrogant gotcha-ness. He pressed further, and it was obvious that I didn’t have an answer. Ted was a second year student at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary and I was a thirty-year-old pastor that had just planted a new church in my living room in the Uptown Charlotte community.
The question was fair, and to be totally honest, Ted had no clue how uncomfortable I was having this conversation. He couldn’t have known that he was poking at one of my biggest insecurities: I don’t read good.
Fast forward four more years.
Same location, come to think of it: Central Coffee in the Plaza Midwood neighborhood one mile east of Uptown Charlotte. “Bro, you know I love you, but you really need to read more.”
I had a real problem on my hands this time. Joseph is anything but smug. He’s one of my best friends and he had moved to Charlotte to help Dara and I plant the aforementioned church in our living room. Furthermore, he doesn’t even own hair gel. I couldn’t make a snarky comment and wiggle out of this one again.
“You have such a sharp mind, but you’re just regurgitating your own thoughts. You need to be challenged by people that have gone before you and dig deeper into your own ideas and beliefs.”
I remember getting really quiet this time. No defensive humor dismissing this challenge from my friend that I absolutely knew loved me and wanted the best for me.
“Joseph,” I said nervously, “I don’t read good.”
I was ashamed. Embarrassed. Even writing this right now makes me feel like I just went skinny dipping in the waters of the internet. I don’t like admitting my weaknesses to anyone, let alone the one location in the universe that trolls run rampant with no accountability.
We walked out of the coffee shop and my armor was cracking. I was cracking. I told him that I had struggled with reading since I was a kid. To be abundantly clear, I can read, but I just have a really hard time focusing for long periods of time. The world around me has always been infinitely more interesting than inanimate words on a page or screen.
Fast forward six more years: I still don’t read good.
I got this idea for this blog post when I was doing my devotions this morning. I woke up, had my first cup of coffee, and cracked open a devotional I’m reading with the dumbest title on earth that’s loaded with amazing truths: Sparkling Gems from the Greek by Rick Renner.
As I was learning about the role of the Holy Spirit’s role in convicting us of sin (elegcho means to expose, convict, or cross-examine for the purpose of conviction), I started thinking of something else. Let’s be real, I thought of a lot of something-elses. The email I wanted to send to Jon and Garrett. The next project in my yard that I want to do for the kids to have more room to play. The second-to-last message I’m preaching tomorrow at Center City Church (that’s weird to type).
This rapid-fire collection of thoughts somehow led to a self-deprecating thought of how I can’t stay focused long enough to… “WOW!!! I bet other people deal with this too… I should write a blog post about how distracted I get while trying to read.”
The sparkling gems were going to have to wait. I did what I always do with my random thoughts: find the closest device or my leather journal (that I bring everywhere) to write down these fleeting thoughts. My phone was (of course) right next to me, so I did what normal humans do and shot a series of random text messages to myself.
Rewind to April 26, 2019: The day I became a doctor.
I have thought about those conversations with Ted and Joseph over and over again the past several weeks after receiving my doctor of ministry degree from Southeastern University. I ended up doing my masters degree and doctoral degree back-to-back over the course of five grueling years. That’s tens of thousands of pages of reading and thousands of pages of writing for a guy that legitimately can struggle to finish one page of a sparkling gems devotional.
I realized that I love learning but I hated to read.
I hated to read because I am easily distracted. Instead of choosing to dismiss Ted and Joseph and everyone else that was encouraging me to push myself to learn and grow, and I had to learn how to learn.
Turns out that I’m not the only one that has a hard time reading. There’s a bunch of us. If you’re one of us, please know that you are not alone. You don’t have to feel embarrassed or ashamed. You have a greater capacity to learn than anyone may have ever told you. I know this because I am one of us.
Here’s some tips that I picked up along the way that were absolutely game-changers for me academically. They have also helped me to stay focused on my sparkling gems.
First, I learned that I can consume a massive amount of information if I listen to a book while ALSO reading it at the same time. Please note: this is different than simply listening to an audio book. I need to hear it AND read it in order to really capture and process the information.
If I wasn’t very interested in an assigned topic, I would generally listen to a book at 1.5x speed or 2x speed (Joseph calls me an alien because of this), write a review and be done with the assignment. However, if I was really captivated by a topic, I would buy the Kindle version or a physical copy and make highlights as the author read to me at a blistering pace.
PRO TIP: If an audio book is not available, here’s how you can make your iPhone read a Kindle book to you (link) .
Second, and I’m declaring this the no-judgment zone for all the Teds of the world that don’t understand us… I have had to learn that sometimes I’m just going to have to buckle down and read the old fashioned way (with a very not-old-fashioned twist). In order to stay focused, I had to learn how to block out the noise around me.
In order to accomplish this, a good pair of headphones and my SimplyRain app have magically (I assume it’s magic, at least) helped me to focus when I have to read or write for long periods of time. I’m wearing my headphones right now listening to fake rain while I’m writing this because it just so happens my home is full of eight children wandering around blissfully being children (and loud).
PRO TIP: Turn thunder OFF on the rain app because you can really ruin a good reading or writing flow when you hear the thunder crackle and then you start thinking about that time you were a kid and the thunder made you get out of the pool on a perfectly sunny day in Florida. I’m not exactly sure why it thunders in Florida when it’s perfectly sunny overhead, but I can only assume it’s to ruin pool days for children.
I know what you’re thinking: “How on earth did this guy become a doctor?”
Well, Ted, all of us don’t learn the same way and it turns out I’ve got a huge list of authors that are really shaping my thinking now. I just needed a friend that would look past my insecurities and help me to see that I had more in me than I realized.
Thanks, Joseph.
LINKS:
NC State survey to find your learning style: https://www.engr.ncsu.edu/ils/
NC State’s academic paper explaining learning styles: https://www.engr.ncsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/drive/1WPAfj3j5o5OuJMiHorJ-lv6fON1C8kCN/styles.pdf
Purchase audio books here: https://www.audible.com/
How to enable text-to-speech on your phone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h953gJCjzpQ
Sparkling Gems from the Greek (Rick Renner): https://www.amazon.com/s?k=sparkling+gems+from+the+greek&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItbPftYHs4gIVkY2zCh0-CgCwEAAYASAAEgJo1fD_BwE&hvadid=345602647373&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9009973&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12576021319772245335&hvtargid=kwd-950829155&hydadcr=8269_10375144&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_8wgj60t8hf_e
Joseph calling me an alien for listening to his podcast at 2x speed while interviewing me about vocational change: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/david-docusen/id1453948233?i=1000439381017
by Dave Leonard | March 11, 2019 | Uncategorized
I’ll never forget the time a flying roach injured my mom’s back to the point she couldn’t walk for days, and then God miraculously healed her.
I won’t soon forget the time that my wife laid in a hospital bed, four months pregnant with our first child, Max. The doctor told me that an infection in her kidneys went septic and that they did not know if she would make it through the night. And then God healed her (and preserved my son’s life).
I still remember the feeling of watching our bank account go down to zero – completely zero – eleven months in a row when we moved from Orlando, FL to Charlotte, NC to start Center City Church. I will never forget the way that God faithfully provided every single month… including a friend of ours selling a paining for $750 and giving us all of the proceeds because “God put it on my heart to do this for your family.” Little did she know the fridge was empty and we had three kids in diapers (and no diapers for them) that very day.
I could keep going – and I’m sure there’s a few of you that want to hear more about these stories. And that’s the power of our story. You may not believe in God or miracles, but you can’t take away my story.
I’ve been really challenged recently in my daily devotions by the way that the Israelites used stories to teach others about the faith and faithfulness of God. I read this morning in Exodus 18 about the leader of Israel, Moses, having a conversation with his father-in-law about the miracles he personally experienced as the Lord led them out of Egyptian slavery.
**Exodus 18:12 – Moses went out to welcome his father-in-law. He bowed to him and kissed him. Each asked the other how things had been with him. Then they went into the tent. Moses told his father-in-law the story of all that God had done to Pharaoh and Egypt in helping Israel, all the trouble they had experienced on the journey, and how God had delivered them.
This is just one story of many that shows the Israelites recounting stories of faith, faithfulness, and miracles. My personal favorites are the times that it shows the adults gathering children to share these stories and encourage them to place their faith in this unseen, loving, and powerful God that had been so faithful to their family.
I’m also challenged today to make sure that I’m passing on the stories that we have accumulated over the years to my own children. Mealtime can be a great place to talk as a family, but with one intentional adjustment, it can also be a time for Dara and I to tell our four kids the stories of faith, faithfulness, and miracles that we have seen, personally, throughout the years.
My prayer:
God, help me to remember the stories of the way that you have cared for my family and I. Help me to reflect in awe and wonder on the times that you have come through when we couldn’t see our way out. Give me the creativity and ability to re-tell these stories in a way that will encourage my wife, kids, friends, family, etc. to trust in you more. And help me to not forget your faithfulness when challenges arise in the days to come. Amen.
by David Docusen | February 25, 2019 | Uncategorized
I have what looks like is going to be a scar under my right eye. It happened a few days after my mom was in a horrific car accident (January 2019) that almost took her life. I spent every day in the hospital with her as she was dealing with seven broken bones, three surgeries, and bleeding on the brain.
I went home one night to go check in on the fam and help with a few things around the house. Alight in the living room needed to be changed, so I went to grab the ladder out of our utility closet in the garage. When I grabbed the ladder, the weed whacker fell off the brace that holds it up against the wall and onto my face. Not cool. I bled, and I was frustrated.
It’s turned out to be a permanent mark that reminds me of God’s faithfulness because during this entire season, my mom (Becky Docusen) has been praising God from her bed, unable to walk or do many basic things that we take for granted. She has one working limb right now, and she’s using it to raise in worship to God. Mom said, “hopefully that heals one day.” I said, “It’s just a face, and it reminds me every day of God’s faithfulness to us in this season, and of your (mom) faithfulness to God.”
by David Docusen | February 18, 2019 | Uncategorized
I just found myself all up in my feelings tonight as I wrote the first draft of my conclusion for the doctoral dissertation. Three years worth of academic research and practical ministry as I’ve explore race, economics, and friendship as it relates to the topic of biblical neighborliness.
Here’s my first stab at my conclusion… it will change through the editing process, but I wanted to share the experience as it unfolds. There’s probably mistakes, but after three years and 12+ hours of writing today alone, I don’t hardly care at all … hahahahaha… shoot me a message if you have any feedback!
The journey of this dissertation process started in 2015 when I looked across our congregation at Center City Church and I saw a predominantly white congregation in a city that was brimming with cultural diversity. I prayed a private prayer to the Lord after a Sunday morning service and asked him to teach me how to see the beauty of the diverse kingdom of God expressed at Center City Church. I had no clue what I was praying, and even more so I could have never anticipated the beauty and the challenge of seeing this prayer answered. I have been deeply touched and changed by the rigor of this academic and theological journey, but immeasurably more by the friendships that have filled my life over the past four years. I am forever changed by the neighborliness that has been expressed to me by the pastors that have faithfully served the West Charlotte community for years and the residents of the Camp Greene neighborhood that have welcomed our church family with open arms. I am a better son of God, husband to Dara, father to Max, Mary, Jack, and Ben, and pastor for Center City Church because of the experiences that have been afforded to me on this academic and relational journey.
As a son of God, my eyes have been opened to the beauty of God’s diverse creation across racial and economic lines. I have learned how to patiently listen to the stories of others without insisting on interjecting my own personal opinions or biased outlook on life. I have learned the value of humbly placing myself at the feet of others that may not have personal riches (as measured by the dominant culture) and learning from a different level of faithfulness and trust in the Lord that is sharpened by trials and tribulation that I may never experience myself.
As a husband to Dara and father to my children, I have learned how to engage in meaningful conversation around our dinner table about culture and the dynamics that are ever-present in our society that our family (as middle-class and white) may never have addressed if I had not been afforded this opportunity to explore race, economics, and friendship at such an intimate level. I will never forget the first time that my oldest son, Max (fifteen years old at the time), and I listened to Propaganda’s album and discussed the meaning of the lyrics in-depth that explored dynamics that my son had never had to address. I saw a spark in his eyes that day that has grown into a fire for justice and compassion today.
As a pastor at Center City Church, I have witnessed beauty that is forged through conflict, forgiveness, misunderstanding, grace, and faithfully journeying together toward a beautiful expression of neighborliness that was described by Jesus as the greatest of all the commandments. We are an imperfect Christian community genuinely pursuing the perfection of Jesus on a daily basis. I will continue to choose Jesus daily and share his love with others, and I expect nothing less from this beautiful and courageous community that is embodying the message of Jesus in Charlotte, North Carolina.
As I look toward the future of where I hope this field of study will continue to press toward, I can envision two areas that I would hope that either myself or others will explore to add to the work that has been explored in this dissertation project. The first would be a practical examination of how affluent and influential leaders in the community (business and political leaders, in particular) can genuinely use their positions of power to engage in a meaningful way in the work of creating a more equitable society for all residents of Charlotte, North Carolina and cities like it across the world. There are countless men and women of God that I have met in the past four years that genuinely want to share their influence and resources with neighbors in Charlotte that have only known the devastating pattern of generational poverty. However, the unknown or unseen landmines of racial and economic complexity that have been set by the enemy have produced fear and timidity and hindered them from using their influential positions to bring true equity to high-poverty communities. I believe that someone will take on this mantle and courageously engage in making a submission that will have an incredible impact by bring reconciliation and healing between neighbors from vastly different economic realities that are all created in the same image of our beautiful God.
I have a personal desire to explore the topic of the spirit of mammon that is referenced in Matthew 6:24 and how it has infiltrated our culture –in cities as a whole and the church community. The New Living Translation does not mention this spirit specifically as mammon. It reads, “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money.” However, the King James Version does refer to this spirit specifically. It states, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”
This spirit seems to be insatiable and without satisfaction. I have met countless businessfolks that have achieved the highest levels of success as defined by the popular economic measurables of our society. However, so many feel like they do not have enough and they continue to work harder and harder to achieve some sort of satisfaction that always seems out of reach. Sadly, I also recognize this same spirit in popular church culture, as well. Church leaders insatiably chasing after astronomic levels of numeric and financial growth in churches, never satisfied with what God has given them and chasing after a sense of peace and tranquility that will only be found at the feet of Jesus. Instead of finding security in their status as a son or daughter of the king, the unattainable pursuit of satisfaction by notoriety or fame has them trapped. The spirit of mammon has ensnared entire communities and churches with the false promises of peace and security through influence, power, and financial gain. Jesus provides the antidote to the spirit of mammon in Matthew 6:33. He says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
When Jesus was challenged by the lawyer in Mark 12:28-34 to sum up the greatest of all the commandments, Jesus concisely and powerfully replied that we should love God and neighbors. If this was the central commandment of Jesus, I believe that the aim of the body of Christ should be to love God with full passion and embody a spirit neighborliness to a world that is desperately in need of reconciliation.
by David Docusen | February 16, 2019 | Uncategorized
Ever feel reluctant in your leadership or too nervous to speak up? Welcome to the company of heroes of the faith. We may remember their names now, but everyone one of them were normal folks like you and I.
Consider the story of Moses. Even though he is now regarded as one of the central figures in the Bible, he was an incredibly reluctant leader. God saw strength, character, and integrity in Moses. He knew the task ahead would be arduous, and he knew Moses could handle the heat.
However, like many of us, all Moses could see was his insecurities and inadequacies. He said, “I can’t speak well… I stutter.” God was not looking for an orator that could move hearts with a golden tongue… he was looking for someone that would trust that if raised his hands over a river, it would part and the people would be saved (Ex. 14:21).
God is not looking for perfect leaders, but hearts that trust him and seek after him with full devotion. We are encouraged by these stories of faith, and we’re exploring the Word of God together as a church family. If you want to join us, we have copies of the The Gospel Project devotionals at the Welcome Table on Sundays at Center City Church, and there is also an app for the same devotional.
We gather in homes across the community and discuss the things we are reading and explore matters of faith together. I hope you’ll join us, and I absolutely know that if you genuinely pursue Jesus, your faith will grow and you will continue to be renovated by the love of God.
by David Docusen | December 7, 2018 | Uncategorized
Each kid in our home has gotten a cell phone when they got to middle school. It is both a fun moment for the family to communicate with our kids in a new way, and a terrifying reality that the world is opening to them in a whole new way.
We’ve had ups and downs along the way, but overall we have absolutely awesome kids that are (mostly) open and honest with us. One of the ways that we try to encourage that openness is by setting clear boundaries and letting them know that they can talk to us.
Here’s the agreement between us and them that we came up with recently. I found a template at https://joshshipp.com/teen-cell-phone-contract/ (thank you to Josh!) and then adapted to reflect our family values. The main thing is that we’re trying to create an open and honest environment for them to choose accountability and open lines of communication.
We’re not doing this perfectly, but we do love them and continue to find ways to talk about the ever-evolving temptations and pitfalls that are out there as technology continues to shape our kids. Dara and I won’t allow prevailing cultural trends be more influential than our voices. We’re making it up as we go, and loving these kiddos with all of our hearts.
