Chasing Rabbits to a Land of God’s Wonder
Met a new friend, Steven Chaparro. Interesting to hear his take on our journey, filled with ups and downs, to see Ebenezers Coffeehouse come to Uptown Charlotte.
Be Genuine. Be Honest. Be Raw. Be You.
It’s amazing what is found in the Docusen home during our annual Spring cleaning. That was what Monday of our Spring Break week consisted of today. Moving all the furniture, sweeping, mopping, dusting and creating piles of stuff to give away to friends and Salvation Army. Having four kids ages 10, 9, 7 & 5 always make days like today rather interesting and, sure enough, we found some real gems.
The winner, by far, of most disgusting was the who-knows-how-old Kid Clif Bar that we found in the boys’ bedroom. Our youngest son, Ben, has a habit of “finishing” his breakfast by sneaking off and hiding his food. This particular breakfast bar was next to the vent on the floor under the dresser, melted and stubbornly gripping the 80+ year old wood floors. Our gag reflexes were seriously tested today.
I’m finding more and more that I have gag reflexes to things other than Ben’s hidden breakfast bars. It has to do with a lack of a genuine spirit. And I can feel it all the time…especially in the church. I long for our community at Center City Church to be genuine, honest and raw. Many times, that’s not the prettiest place to be. But it is real. And that’s the way I want to live my life. When I feel like we’re just putting on a show or worried about appearances in our church family, it’s like I’ve just stumbled upon a 4 month old Kid Clif Bar melted to my wood floor.
I just think that if we are going to truly say that we’ve committed our heart to Jesus, we should act like it when no one is looking. We should act like it when lots of people are looking. We should pursue him as much in quiet drives to work, walking through the city or teaching life lessons to our kids. Live with genuine expression of life, even if that is viewed as “too raw” by others. To be frank, I am not living for the approval of imperfect men and women, I’m living for the approval of God. He sees the motive of my heart, all of my imperfection and He chooses to love me just as I am. And He loves you that way, too.
I’m not perfect. And neither are you. I get frustrated and have to apologize to my wife and kids regularly.
I disappoint my friends and have to ask for grace. The most consistent thing about me many times
is simply my inconsistency. But I’m learning to be comfortable with myself and all the flaws
that come along with being David Docusen. And Jesus is ok with me, too.
If I am struggling, I need to be able to acknowledge that I am struggling. If I am full of doubt, I long for a community of friends that can deal with those doubts and navigate them with me. If I am about to take a huge step of faith, I want to hear a huge chorus of friends and family cheering me on, no matter how crazy it seems (and no matter the outcome).
We’re all in this together. We won’t agree on everything. But it is way more enjoyable if we just live genuinely. Take off the armor. Put your guard down. Sure, you’re going to take a few more arrows and collect a few more bruises. But you will also be truly living, not hiding behind a carefully crafted image of perfection that is impossible to sustain. Learn to be ok with being honest with yourself and others. That’s when you truly come alive and the beauty of a genuine relationship with Jesus makes sense.
Jesus didn’t come to save your public appearance, he came to redeem and heal your broken heart.
This is what Jesus had to say to the religious, pompous leaders of his time that hid behind their carefully crafted public image.
**Matthew 23:25-26 – “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites!
For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and
self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish,
and then the outside will become clean, too.
Let’s choose to not be like these guys. Be genuine. Be raw. Be honest. Be you.
The Toughest, Most Beautiful Day (The Day We Send the Gospel Across the World)
Just over a year ago, two dear friends returned home from a beautiful, traumatic and effective season on the mission field. They spent multiple years in a country in North Africa sharing the love of Christ. Their community was full of amazingly gracious and wonderful people. But it also included people that were extremely hostile to anyone that would dare introduce another religion different from theirs. They laid their lives on the line to share the love of Christ.
In a story that could be adapted into a movie, they were forcefully removed from the country and the community that they desperately loved because of political tensions. This couple showed up in Charlotte hurting, broken and asking questions that no one on this side of heaven could ever answer. “Why?” seemed to be the starting point of every tear-filled conversation. They had lost their sense of home, calling and stability.
The past year has been full of healing. It has been full of community surrounding this couple and showing unconditional grace and love. It has included their engagement and marriage. It has included incredible spiritual growth. And it has included a new calling.
Today is one of the toughest, most beautiful days that I can remember in the history of my ministry. We will say goodbye yet again to this couple that we love. We have walked with them. Prayed with them. Cried with them. We have watched a new home and calling come alive in their heart. Tears fill my eyes today as I have seen this couple say goodbye to friends that mean more than words could ever express. Tears fill my eyes as Dara and I prepare to drive them to the airport, hug their necks and pray one final prayer from their pastor’s heart – their friend’s heart. We deeply love and believe in them. And we will miss them terribly.
These are not tears of sadness. They are tears of incredible joy. It turns out that saying goodbye to someone you love for an extended period of time includes a wide range of emotion that could never be properly expressed. There is a sense of loss, knowing that the random drop-ins on a Wednesday afternoon will not be happening. But that is accompanied by an overwhelming sense of joy. These two are truly alive. They are living out their God-given calling without fear or reservation. God called them to bring the life and love of Christ to a country that has less than 1% of its population that has experienced the freedom of relationship with Jesus.
They are leaving the ones that they love for the sake of The One (Jesus) that they love the most.
There will be tears. There will be laughter. There will be intense moments of prayer. There will be battles to be fought. There will be battles to be won. All of this for the glory of The One that is worthy of every part of our lives.
__________ and __________, you inspire me to love Jesus more. You inspire me to be a better husband, father, shepherd, teacher and friend. Thank you for your influence in my life. It’s time to go. And through our prayers, your community goes with you. Live well. Love well. Lead well. Be strong and courageous. You are loved. You are so very loved.
**Matthew 28:18-20 – Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has
been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the
Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have
commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Pride & Arrogance (The Carbon Monoxide of Sin)
After months of prayer (and copious amounts of frustration), our search for a home had finally come to a close.
It was the summer of 2010 and the desire of our family was to have a home in the same community that our church was located. It just so happened that our church was located a half mile from the heart of Uptown Charlotte in the historic Elizabeth community. With a median price tag of a half million dollars, purchasing was out of the question. Renting was our only option, but even then most homes were double the amount that our family of six could afford.
We found a 1,300 square foot home that was located on a beautiful street that piqued our interest. It was in need of some TLC, but it turned out that the owner, Betty, was willing to work with us. The neighbors were amazing and we felt at home almost immediately. I remember thinking to myself, “My dad had six siblings and he grew up in a three bedroom home. I’m sure we can make a three bedroom, one bathroom house work for our family, as well.” This turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made. Getting ready in the morning has proved to be a chaotic symphony with only one bathroom, but this home has been filled with amazing memories over the last four years.
As we toured the home, I noticed a digital box positioned by the back door. I called Betty over and asked, “What’s this?” She replied, “That’s a carbon monoxide detector. You’ll probably never need it, but I like to have it in each home I own. Carbon monoxide is odorless and tasteless, but it can kill you if there’s too much in your home. If you hear the alarm, get out.” I was equally comforted and terrified by this thought.
I was thinking about this conversation as I read the Proverbs this morning…
All who fear the Lord will hate evil. Therefore, I hate pride
and arrogance, corruption and perverse speech.
– Proverbs 8:13
One of my favorite authors, Tim Keller, says that “Pride and arrogance are like the carbon monoxide of sin. It’s hard to recognize, but it can kill you.” I am fully aware that I am only one perspective shift away from taking credit for the blessings of God in my life, family and ministry. And this Proverb is a reminder that God places price and arrogance in the same category as more detectable sins such as corruption and perverse speech. That shows the seriousness of these sins.
Jesus gives us a beautiful contrast in the Sermon on the Mount by teaching that God blesses those that are humble (Matthew 5:5). I am praying that you and I would be reminded today to check our hearts for impure motives. May we be quick to recognize pride and arrogance, and quick to repent when the carbon monoxide detector starts to ring the alarm in our lives.
Lover’s Beach (Staring Down the Barrel of a Machine Gun)
Staring down the barrel of a machine gun was not quite the way I had imagined our romantic drive to Lover’s Beach. But that’s exactly where my new bride, Dara, and I found ourselves lost as a ball in high weeds on the fourth day of our marriage.
Twenty minutes earlier, the concierge at our honeymoon resort in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico had given us detailed instructions to this intimate locale that we had heard about from some locals. The only problem was that these instructions were given in Spanish. This story is for another day, but I famously (infamously?) scored an 18% on my final exam during my sophomore year at Lake Brantley High School in Altamonte Springs, FL.
We hopped in our rented Jeep Wrangler (my dream car), took the top down and began to explore. We held hands, laughed and drank deep of the blue skies and bright sunshine that created the perfect landscape for this memorable moment. This was our day to experience all that the mainstream tourists would never see due to their lack of adventure.
We came to a crossroad in the middle of town. It looked nothing like our limited Spanish vocabulary had interpreted. Dara was convinced we were to turn left. I was convinced we were to turn right. Like any good husband trying to figure out how to be a good husband, I decided that we would turn right.
The asphalt turned to gravel and then the gravel turned to dirt. We were well on our way to making memories that would cement my win for husband of the week the first week on the job. Our all-terrain dream vehicle was made for this tree-lined dirt path. Everything was perfectly falling into place.
An unexpected addition to our secluded moment was the multi-million dollar leer jets that kept flying in overhead, landing just over the tree line. In the distance, we could see on opening that looked like our parking area. As we approached, to our surprise, two men dressed in camouflage were pointing machine guns directly at our foreheads while screaming at the top of their lungs.
With visions of losing husband of the week racing through my head, I pulled the emergency brake and turned the wheel hard left. A cloud of dust acted as our cover as I pulled off the best one hundred eighty degree turns of my life. I slammed on the gas, never looking back to ever figure out why Lover’s Beach was actually a machine-gun-protected, luxury jet airstrip.
We never found Lover’s Beach. But we did rack up an unforgettable memory as both of us made it out of that day alive. I learned that day that everything I say may not always be right. Over the course of my eleven years of marriage, turns out I have had to learn that lesson over and again.
These memories came flooding back today as I was reading Proverbs 8. Wisdom is personified in this book of the Bible, and she spends her time calling out to anyone that will listen. She calls out from the rooftops, at the entrance to the gates of a city and positions herself conspicuously at the crossroads of well traveled roads. She wants to be heard. She longs for us to listen. Verse six struck me with such simplicity and direct challenge:
Listen to me! For I have important things to tell you. Everything I say is right…
(Proverbs 6:6 NLT)
As I proved on the fourth day of my marriage (and many days following), I need wisdom. And Wisdom calls out in this passage from anywhere that may get my attention. Turns out that I need to pay careful attention to the first words of this verse to ever hear the perfect direction of God: LISTEN TO ME!
My prayer is that you and I would find the courage to listen and respond to the voice of Wisdom as she calls out. Break away. Find stillness and silence. Find rest. And allow the voice of wisdom to lead and guide you.
You may not like the answers you get, but the promise is that Wisdom only leads to life and health. Instead of staring down the barrel of a machine gun, you will successfully find the moments of intimacy that you were aiming for in the first place.
My advice is wholesome. There is nothing devious or crooked in it.
My words are plain to anyone with understanding,
clear to those with knowledge.
(Proverbs 6:8-9)
Docusen Family Christmas Traditions
We’re huge fans of Christmas in the Docusen home. We do our best to make sure we creatively teach the kids the story of Jesus – and why it matters – every year. This year we also started to incorporate fun and creative ways to teach them about generosity – that when God blesses and provides for our family, it gives incredible joy to be able to give to others. It’s been a fun week around the Docusen house.
Tonight, we incorporate a family tradition that we’ve started with the kiddos. On December 23rd every year, we do Family Movie Night (A Muppet Christmas Carol this year) and open a “family gift.” It’s one gift with six gifts in it. It’s the same every year – pajamas for everybody. Super fun to see the kiddos get all bundled up and then all cuddle up on the couch as a family and watch a movie together.
On Christmas Eve morning we do the same thing every year, as well. Tomorrow will be our 4th annual Cracker Barrel brunch. We’ll sleep in a bit (which probably means 8:30am around our house) and then head to Cracker Barrel. We line the kids up, youngest to oldest, on the rocking chairs and take the same picture every year. It’s crazy to see how much they grow each year. Either the chairs are getting smaller or my babies are getting bigger.
These are just a few of our fun traditions that we’ll enjoy in the next 24 hours. What are some ways that you celebrate the Christmas season with your family?
David’s Blog
