I realized something about myself today: I feel like its easier for me to believe these days. I am not sure how that will come across as you read that statement, but it makes a lot of sense to me.
When I first started on this journey of raising our salary, I could literally feel the pressure in my chest. I could feel the weight of the responsibility I had to my family to provide for them, to take care of them and simply pay the bills. Most people don’t know that I actually ended up on the doctor’s table getting an EKG because my chest was so tight. I was literally crumbling under the pressure. It was during this experience that God really spoke to me. I knew at that moment that I was holding on to the same burdens that he wants to take for me. I was holding them so tight that my body was literally responding by constricting.
I read Matthew 6 shortly thereafter and I decided to do something really crazy. I decided to believe.
Matthew 6:25-27 – 25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
I find myself today in a very strange place. I genuinely believe. Every single month we start off with close to nothing in our salary account. I find myself deeply believing that God will provide. I find myself working instead of worrying.
From one angle (the natural), our lives have never been more on the edge. We’ve never been closer to the wheels coming off and the ride being over. We’ve never walked the tight rope quite so tight.
From the other angle (God’s perspective), we have never trusted more. We have never believed more. We have never genuinely put our faith on that same tight rope and kept on walking.
It seems that the tougher that has gotten, the easier it has become to trust God. He has not failed us. Not even in the worst recession in 50 years.
The tougher it looks, the easier it gets. How counter-intuitive is that?